thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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