It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
