kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?