The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We are all done wearing pants today