Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on

  (384): View more from

  How come?

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message

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  (312): You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on (384): How come? (312): Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message http://tfl.nu/r9u6
  Replies (29) Good night (487) Bad night (1504)
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  (650): View more from California

  from now on my penis is your penis

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  (650): from now on my penis is your penis http://tfl.nu/ipfj
  Replies (19) Good night (2761) Bad night (565) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?

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  (310): so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump? http://tfl.nu/ubjm
  Replies (33) Good night (728) Bad night (4250) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.

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  (508): billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down. http://tfl.nu/h3l0
  Replies (11) Good night (1008) Bad night (3466) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.

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  (651): how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night. http://tfl.nu/2trw
  Replies (47) Good night (8373) Bad night (684) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed

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  (815): man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed http://tfl.nu/08b9
  Replies (64) Good night (1791) Bad night (4306) Order T-Shirt
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number

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  (709): a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number http://tfl.nu/syte
  Replies (14) Good night (2884) Bad night (1158) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.

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  (812): You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down. http://tfl.nu/c4iu
  Replies (6) Good night (3049) Bad night (726) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?

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  (703): just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately? http://tfl.nu/eqo5
  Replies (6) Good night (2202) Bad night (1283) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.

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  (631): Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions. http://tfl.nu/8mk0
  Replies (10) Good night (1474) Bad night (482) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!

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  (214): COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!! http://tfl.nu/kzi1
  Replies (5) Good night (1006) Bad night (618) Order T-Shirt
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  (078): View more from

  Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!

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  (078): Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?! http://tfl.nu/fofo
  Replies (9) Good night (847) Bad night (789) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.

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  (253): I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board. http://tfl.nu/lkp6
  Replies (5) Good night (503) Bad night (1298)
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  (716): View more from New York

  The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.

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  (716): The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us. http://tfl.nu/j1ej
  Replies (11) Good night (2477) Bad night (471) Order T-Shirt
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.

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  (269): We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable. http://tfl.nu/14d9
  Replies (3) Good night (1386) Bad night (368) Order T-Shirt

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