Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.