I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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