still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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