"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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