You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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