She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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