when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
