so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
