My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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