at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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