i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
