And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
