at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize