just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize