Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
