I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
