Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
