**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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