I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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