is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
