Pappa wants mamma naked
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
