She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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