What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
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triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
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My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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