I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You are the jesus of drinking
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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