She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize