My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize