ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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