I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
