There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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