I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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