forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
