I want to stick my p in your. b.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize
