whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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