susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
