There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
We need to rekindle our bromance
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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