This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
