Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
