I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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