...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
