just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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