I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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