I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
