I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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