Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
