Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
is that a dick in a sweater?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
