he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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