she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize