ugly people sure do ruin things
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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