Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
