:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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