Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize