you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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