Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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