Non-Jews are for practice
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize