I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
did i just pee glitter
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
