I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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