So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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