did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
19 Utterly Perfect Responses To ‘Send Nudes’ Texts
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??