carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
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I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
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I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public