omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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