can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
