She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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