the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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